Posts Tagged ‘Parent’

Until We Meet Again

Posted: June 20, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Dad in October 1970 Is it possible for someone to grieve over the loss of someone they have loved their entire life? My sister Amy and I can attest that this is true, even after 11 years since our fathers’ death in 2001. Some may ask why we are so interested in our dad after all this time, but in truth, we have always wanted to know him, to talk to him, to put our arms around his neck and just say, “Daddy, I love you and always will.” When our parents divorced I was only six years old and my sister was only eighteen months. We never had the chance to know our dad like so many daughters have the chance to do in their lives. As children growing up we were told lies. Lies that forever changed our lives. We were told that our dad didn’t love us or he would want to be with us. To grow up thinking this all your life, is very traumatic for a child at any age. It changed the way we thought, the way we showed our emotions, and the way we showed our love to those around us. For me personally, it hardened my heart in a way that I cannot explain. 


Just recently I found out from my sister that dad did try to visit us but was told that he wasn’t welcome there and he was forced to leave. (I think my mom was at work at the time, so if you are thinking it was her that told him to leave, you can just get that idea out of your head. She was shocked when I told her this new information. She had no idea that my dad and uncle Stewart had driven from Maryland to Florida to come see us, and only to be told to go back home.) So he left. I never seen him again since that day, even though I didn’t know it was him standing on the front porch trying to look in. I believe he just wanted to see our faces just one time before he was forced to go. In the back of my mind, I knew someone had come to visit, but I didn’t realize it was our dad. He was coming to see us! We never knew until decades later. Sometimes, and I speak for my sister Amy when I say this, “What would our life be like right now if only we were given the chance to truly know him?” I can only say that we wish things had turned out differently. To turn back the clock is an understatement. I would love to just start over, knowing what I know now, I think our relationship with our dad would have been quite different. It could have blossomed into something really special between us and our Cornett family.


Before dad’s funeral our Aunt Evelyn called my sister, Amy, and told her she needed to come see dad because he wasn’t doing well and should come to his bedside before he passed away. I wasn’t able to go because I didn’t have the money for plane fare, and I had no one I could ask for money except my husband at the time. Needless to say, I was told we didn’t have the money. The one thing I asked for I couldn’t have, which hurt me even more. I wanted to see my dad desperately but I couldn’t. I felt trapped. I felt cheated. All I can remember is breaking down in tears and running back to my lonely bedroom and just thinking that this could have been the last moment I would ever get to spend with my dad. I don’t know how long I cried, I just remember that I looked horrible with red, puffy eyes and a shiny,red nose that I probably could have passed for Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’s twin! I am glad my sister was able to pay her last respects even though I couldn’t be there with her. 


The following is my sisters story, painted by her for me so that I could envision what it was like to be in her shoes while she visited with our Cornett family in Maryland and what the funeral service was like. 


Amy’s Story


 Amy With Lucia 2001
Amy With Grandma, Lucia Rose Cornett

I remember Aunt Evelyn calling me one afternoon, saying dad was in the hospital and he was not doing good at all. She said if I wanted to see him I should make it up there really soon. I was able to get a flight out, but a little too late as dad passed away the night before my flight. I got on my flight anyway; I just wanted to see him at least once. My flight landed in Baltimore, Maryland where Uncle Kyle and Aunt Evelyn were waiting for me. They held up a sign that said “Cornett” so I would know who they were. They seen me in pictures through the years, but had no idea what I looked like now, I was 21 or 22.


We left from the airport to Lucia’s small but welcoming home and we were supposed to go to a funeral viewing of a lady, named Edith Cox. At first I wasn’t exactly sure how we were related ( I figured we must be from Scotland or the lady from there because when we went to her funeral there were men dressed in Tartan plaid kilts and playing “Amazing Grace” on bagpipes.) It turned out that Edith Cox was my grandfather, Walter Allen Cornett Sr.’s sister.The men playing bagpipes was pretty neat to see in person. Not everyone can say that they went to a funeral where there was bagpipes playing. What a cultural treat even though it was for a sad occasion. Kyle and Evelyn waited for me in the car while I changed my clothes. I came out of Lucia’s house with my shoes in hand because I was trying to hurry, when I got in the car Evelyn said ” We sure can tell your Bill’s daughter, because he would always walk around barefoot too”. I went to the viewing where I met some of the family for the first time ever in my life. Everyone acted very excited to finally meet me and some I think were even surprised to see me and asked which daughter I was, Kelly or Amy?

I stayed with Kyle and Evelyn the few days I was there, they lived in Westminster,Maryland. They drove me around and showed me the hospital where I was born, the house we used to live in and where mom used to work. I also seen Amish people too which was kinda neat. Pennsylvania is really beautiful and I thought to myself that I wouldn’t mind living there. 

I dreaded the day of dad’s funeral because I would be seeing him for the first time but definitely not the way I wanted. When we got there I planned on sitting in the back of the Church, the preacher introduced himself to me and told me to sit in the front row next to Grandma Lucia. Everyone who came payed their respects, he had an open coffin and he was wearing a shirt and light blue denim jeans, which he was always known to wear, he looked exactly like in the pictures he sent to me.  There was a little girl standing next to me, she was around 7 years old I think. She asked me if I was Uncle Bill’s daughter and I said yes and told her my name was Amy. She said dad was her favorite uncle, she had a stuffed frog which dad had given her and she put it on dad’s chest and she said she wanted him to have it. We all sat down and the funeral service started. The preacher mentioned both our names at the funeral. I was so upset that day that I ended up running out of the service, crying. Uncle Greg followed me out and asked if I was okay and tried to console me the best he knew how.

After the ceremony, all the family gathered at Lucia’s house for dinner. They had foods like macaroni and cheese, pasta salad, dinner rolls but I can’t really remember what else we ate that day. Lucia, Martha, Evelyn, Sue and I sat at the table and they shared stories with me. They told me that he loved baseball and he watched it all the time; I think they said his favorite player was Cal Ripkin. They also shared stories about his epilepsy. 

The night of dad’s funeral we (me, Kyle and Evelyn) spend the night at Lucia’s house. I think it was because they didn’t want to leave Lucia alone; we stayed up late talking about dad and they were telling me what he was like and that he thought of me and Kelly every day and was always talking about us. He would check the mailbox every day, excited when he got another letter from us in the mail. They explained how he came to have epilepsy, that there was an auto accident he was in when he was 18 years old, the car overturned and he hit his head. He had epilepsy ever since that accident; he was also on anti-seizure medication but still had seizures pretty much everyday. They would try to hold him down when he would have a seizure so he wouldn’t hurt himself, but he was just too strong. We talked for a long time, for hours it seemed, about dad, about my life and they asked about Kelly and what she was doing now. They asked about mom too. They told me they really loved mom and they were sad when they split up so many years ago.


That night Lucia told me I could sleep in dad’s room, so I did. When I went into the room I just looked around, I guess it was just so I could see if any of his belongings would tell me a little more about him. He had a simple room, a twin bed and a dresser with a mirror. On the dresser he had photos of me and Kelly and our children, ones that we sent him throughout the years. There was about four pictures altogether set in photo frames. I remember he had a small box of baseball cards that he had apparently collected. I lay in his bed for the longest time that night but I just couldn’t fall asleep. When I finally did sleep, I was awakened by someone touching my shoulder and whispering my name, but when I looked around I saw no one was there. I know this probably sounds really weird but I thought it was dad, you know like his spirit or something there to tell me he loved me and he knew I was there. 

I left on my flight that morning, Kyle and Evelyn took pictures of me and Lucia and everyone that was there. Kelly, I’m pretty sure you know from doing your research we have a pretty big family on the Cornett side. Thee family kept telling me ” I bet you didn’t know you had such a big family”. When I met everyone they remembered me, but for me It was like meeting them for the first time because I was so young I was only a year and a half when mom and dad split up. I had no memories of anyone, not even the one person that I would love to have at least one fond memory of. We all said our goodbye’s and the family welcomed me to come back anytime.

This was really hard for me to write, I think I cried most of the way through it. I just wish things could have been different; I wish I could have met him. I would have been happy with at least meeting him one time, just so I could say I knew my father. I’m sure he remembered me but I don’t have any memories of him at all. The only memory that I can fall back on is seeing him laying in that coffin and wishing I would have gotten there sooner. I wish we could just turn back the clocks and go back but I know that’s impossible. He left this world too quickly and way before his time, but I know he is in a better place now. Up in heaven with God and in no more pain. I just hope somehow that he knew that I was there, that I did try to be there for him even though it was too late. I love him even though we never met really, and I will think of him everyday for the rest of my life. I love you Daddy! 

Not only was my sister’s story hard to read without tears flowing freely, but it was also hard for me to write it. I appreciate the effort she has gone through to share this memory with me. I believe that we have grieved our fathers absence from our lives for so many years. We still grieve to this day. We will probably always grieve for our daddy but as the days pass, the pain hasn’t diminished at all for either of us. For me, knowing that I never had any closure with him makes it that much more difficult to talk about without crying like a baby. I wanted to tell him that I know he loved us and my sister and I share that same love in return. I hope he knows this, looking down on us from heaven above. I wish I could turn back time too, but I also realize that it impossible to do. One day we will be with our dad again and  be united as a family once more. 


Until we meet again….

 















A Mother’s Memoir ~ A Daughter’s Treasure

Posted: June 18, 2012 in Ancestry, childhood diary, discovering family, relatives
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Orange and violet pansies

Orange and violet pansies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have decided to start a little genealogy project by interviewing my mother to learn more about her life when she was younger, how she grew up and what her life was like in those times. Even though she is my best friend in the whole wide world, there are still some things about her that I don’t know and have never bothered to ask about. I will start with the formalities and things I do know and then continue on from there. This should be fun!

If given the chance, what family member would you interview and why?


Me: What is your given name?


Mom: Carolyn Ann


Me: What are your parents’ names?


Mom: My fathers name was Claude Flemon Dodson, he was born in October of 1903 and he died in 1987. My mother was Dora Younas Worley-Dodson. Worley was her maiden name. My mom was born on April 20, 1907 and she died on December 11, 1990. It was a day before your cousins birthday and right before you gave birth to your first son, John.


Me: Do you know why your parents named you?


Mom: They named me because my brother, Otis liked the name. He was killed in a head on car collision when I was three years old.


Me: Did you have a nickname?


Mom: No. But when you were born your grandmother, Lucia, called you “Little Carolyn”.


Me: When and where were you born?


Mom: I was born in Belair, Maryland


Me: Where did you grow up?


Mom: Phoenix, Maryland


Me: Do you remember the house in which you grew up in? Can you describe it to the best of your recollection?


Mom: Yes, I remember it. It was a 2 story red house with a basement but the outside had red shingles on the walls. It had an L-shaped porch and when they remodeled the house and built an extra room they added the porch. There was a basement that had 3 rooms for storage; there was a washing machine down there. On the first floor, there was a living room, den, big kitchen, two bathrooms and a bedroom. One of the bathrooms was originally a closet. On the second floor, there was three bedrooms and a hallway that led to the attic. There were two other rooms in the attic and another storage area that we kept all of our Christmas stuff in. It was just big enough that you could walk through.


Me: What is your earliest childhood memory?


Mom: Umm…let’s see! Learning to swim and I was a Brownie in the Girl Scouts. I also remember going to Bible School. We never missed a Sunday at church because my mom would never let us miss a Sunday service. We had to go to church no matter what.


Me: What kind of games did you play growing up?


Mom: Hopscotch, jacks, jump rope, hide and seek.


Me: Did you have a favorite toy? Why was it your favorite?


Mom: Yes! I had a Tiny Tears doll. The very first one. Because I could dress it up and feed it. If you fed it water then it would pee.


Me: (Laughing)


Me: What did you like to do for fun when you were little?


Mom: Ride our bikes and go sleigh riding in the winter time.


Me: Did you like to read?


Mom: Yes, I read all kinds of books.


Me: Favorite color?


Mom: Yellow


Me: Favorite flower?


Mom: Hibiscus, Roses, and Pansies


Me: I thought your favorite was the daisy, because that was in your wedding bouquet!


Me: What was your favorite book as a child?


Mom: The Three Little Puppies. I liked Cinderella, Bambi, Donald Duck. I liked a lot of different stories and read many different ones.


Me: Did you have to do any chores when you were younger? What were they?


Mom: Milk cows, feed chickens, clean the barn, pull weeds and pick vegetables out of the garden. I washed clothes and hung them on the clothesline. Had to iron them too.There’s a lot of stuff we did!


Me: Did you have a least favorite?


Mom: Pulling weeds.


Me: What was school like for you growing up?


Mom: I used to cry in first grade when I went to school until I got used to it.


Me: Didn’t you go to Kindergarten?


Mom: No, there wasn’t a kindergarten back then.


Me: Oh! That’s interesting.


Me: What was the name of your elementary school?


Mom: Carroll Manor. That was my elementary then I went to Ridgley Middle School and I ended up graduating from Towson High School.


Me: What year did you graduate?


Mom: 1964


Me: What was your favorite school subject?


Mom: Reading

Me: I should have known that answer! Because you are always reading on your Kindle app on your iPhone!


Me: Do you remember any fads or fashions that were in style when you were in high school?


Mom: Oh! Hold on! I have to get my laundry!


(Intermission of sorts while mom gets her laundry in the dryer! Hahaha)


Mom: I used to wear skirts, blouses and dresses. Poodle skirts were the big thing then. We wore skirts with a belt that tied in the back.


Me: What kind of clothing did you wear to elementary school?


Mom: My mom used to make our dresses from feed sacks and there was a lot of print, no solid colors.


Me: What kind of music did you listen to? Who was your favorite artist?


Mom: Rock and Pop music of the 60’s. Dionne Warwick and the Supremes and Frankie Avalon.


Me: Did you go to prom? Who did you go with?


Mom: Yes, I went with my neighbors son, Glen. He asked me and he had a crush on me back then.


Me: What did your dress look like?


Mom: It had a flower print that came down past my knees. I looked glamorous in that dress!


Me: Did you have any pets?


Mom: Yeah I had a rooster for a pet but he didn’t have a name because I never named him. I had a Cocker Spaniel named Trixie, a Boxer named Mack, and another dog named Freckles.


Me: Those are cute names I like the name Freckles.


Me: What was your first car?


Mom: A 1963 Cadillac that I received when I graduated high school.


Me: What was a typical family dinner like?


Mom: Everybody ate together as a family. Not like today where families eat at different times.


Me: What was your favorite food back then?


Mom: Ham, green beans, and potatoes.


Me: Green beans? Yuck!


Me: Any Christmas traditions in the family?


Mom: Every year on Christmas Eve, we went to the Christmas church service. Me and my brothers and sister would decorate the tree and sometimes my mom would help. I remember getting up on Christmas day and the presents would be under the tree and there was so many presents that it seemed like they were everywhere in the living room.


Me: How many brothers and sisters do you have?


Mom: I had 3 brothers and 4 sisters. I had two brothers and one sister that died in a car accident. One of my brothers was married and his wife died in the accident too.


Me: What were their names?


Mom: Exie, Otis, and Clara. I was only three years old so I don’t remember if Clara was my sister’s name or if she was the wife of Otis.


Me: What was the full name of your husband?


Mom: Billy Edward Cornett, he was born March of 1944.


Me: How did you meet dad? What year did you meet?


Mom: When I was bowling. I used to belong to a bowling league. We met in 1971. I used to have plenty of trophies from bowling. Me and your dad were on the same bowling team and we both had trophies.


Me: Wow! That wasn’t a very long courtship then since i was born the year after!


Mom: No we were hanky pankyin!


Me: Oh my! I don’t need to know the details. Hahaha


Me: How did dad propose marriage to you?


Mom: He asked me in a car, we were parked on the side of the road across from his house in White Hall, Maryland. We were just talking normally when he popped the question.


Me: Did he look nervous like most men do, when he proposed to you?


Mom: Yeah he looked nervous because he didn’t know what I would say, I guess.


Me: When and where were you married?


Mom: St. John’s Lutheran Church in Sweetair , Maryland on April 24, 1971


Me: Was it a morning or afternoon wedding?


Mom: I think it was about 2 o’clock in the afternoon. After the ceremony we had the reception down stairs in the church hall.


Me: Did you have a honeymoon?


Mom: No.


Me: Why didn’t you have one?


Mom: We couldn’t afford it at the time.


Me: Was dad a romantic kind of guy?


Mom: Not really.


Me: What memory is your most favorite about your wedding day?


Mom: Walking down the aisle


Me: Did he cry when he seen you walking down the aisle towards him?


Mom: No. We were both very nervous. But after the ceremony, everyone got together and we cut the cake.


Me: So you guys had that deer in the headlights look on your faces?


Mom: Kelly, you’re funny….


Me: Wedding gifts?


Mom: I had a wedding shower at his moms (Lucia’s) house and we opened the gifts then. I should have pictures somewhere.


Me: Do you remember what some of your gifts were?


Mom: Vacuum cleaner, towels, dishes, and we were given a money tree but I don’t remember how much it was. That was a long time ago!


Me: Does that mean I’m old?! Gee thanks mom!


Mom: Don’t give me that look either! (laughing)


Me: How would you describe dad? What did you admire most about him?


Mom: Quiet and shy. I liked his personality and he always had someone laughing. He liked to joke around quite a bit.


Me: How did you find out you were pregnant for the first time?


Mom: I was nauseous and I had bad morning sickness.


Me: Were you and dad happy about it?


Mom: yes


Me: You’re not just saying that? Because that was me in that belly of yours!


Mom: No!


(Both of us are smiling)


Me: How did you come up with my name when you named me?


Mom: Sue, your dads sister, liked the name and was going to name her baby Kelly. We were pregnant at the same time and she ended up having a baby boy, so she chose another name for her son. So I decided to take that name. But if you were a boy, you would have been named Daniel Eugene.


Me: I’m so glad I am a girl!


Me: How did you choose my sisters name?


Mom: I just liked that name. Because you had my middle name, Ann, and when I named Amy I wanted her to have part of my first name of Carolyn and used that for her middle name for Lynn. That’s how I did it 🙂


Me: Last question. What is one thing that you would want people to remember about you and your life?


Mom: Kelly Ann! I am dependable, like to help people, and a very lovable person. I don’t know, I didn’t think you would give me such a hard question.










Billy Edward Cornett– Happy Father’s Day!

Posted: June 19, 2011 in Billy Edward Cornett, biography, family stories, father
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Billy Edward Cornett was my father who was born March 15, 1944 and died April 28, 2001. Billy had epilepsy and had to take medication so he wouldn’t have seizures. My parents divorced by the time I was 7 years old, and from what my mother, Carolyn has told me of him, he had worked for the state of Maryland for over 10 years. He worked on paving and repairing the roads and helped to winterize them so that everyone may travel safely during the cold, wintry season that Maryland is known to have.

He liked to go bowling and that is where he met my mother. She had joined a bowling league at that time and he was in the same bowling league as her. They started talking one night and he asked her to drive him and his close friend, Robert home. After that, they started dating every weekend. As far as I know, he couldn’t drive because the driver’s license office refused him, due to his epileptic seizures, so my mother drove him where he needed to go.

My sister Amy Cornett-Butler told me that, at his funeral a little girl probably about the age of 6 or 7 gave him back the stuffed frog he had given her,the little girl said she wanted him to have it. In a recent conversation, I mentioned how I wondered if he ever missed us. Apparently, he talked about my sister and I all the time and had photos of us and our children on his dresser. I never knew any of that. He died 10 years ago, but sometimes I just wish things could have turned out differently for us as a family. One day, I hope to honor him as he has honored me.

I remember a gift he had given me one year, I was probably about 8 years old. It was a Snoopy watch, weird how I remember exactly what it looks like to this day. I wish I still had it, but that was a long time ago.

The script logo.

The script logo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dad’s Favorite Team 🙂

A funny story that my mom told me—one night Robert, my dad, and my mom went to a McDonalds and ordered milkshakes, back then the shakes were thick, not like what they are today- half melted by the time you get them. Robert was apparently having a hard time with his thick shake and his straw. Mom had asked him, “Are you getting any?” She said she didn’t get to finish her sentence because they both burst out laughing and were in tears.  I thought that was funny, a little dry humor, if you will.

A few memories from family and friends:
” I miss uncle Bill (FROG) too. Ice Tea and listening to the baseball games on the radio,sitting on the front porch at Gramaws house. That’s where you could find him every summer.” — Cindy H.


“He was such a good man. He was always my favorite uncle! I have such great memories of him. U were very lucky to have a father who loved u and Amy so much.” — Karrieann C.


“Your dad and my dad were the best of friends, and I remember that he would always buy candy bars from me when I sold them for my youth bowling leagues!” — Donna S.

He enjoyed America’s favorite pastime, baseball games. He loved the Baltimore Orioles. I remember him buying me a baseball jersey and I didn’t like it because it was scratchy on my skin, so I hardly wore it. Now, I wish I still had it. Those were the two sports he enjoyed the most, bowling and baseball.
Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. Rest in Peace.

We love you dad!
Your loving daughters,
Kelly and Amy

 


** The photo included in this article is my own.